Sunday, August 17, 2008

Can a man change the stars?

A question that has occupied a large amount of my thinkum time, and was recently brought up again by Stacey, and I feel it warrants some lengthy discussion. The question that Stacey posed to me was "what would you do about it". An inauspicious question on the surface, but it has no simple answer in many cases. There are of course some instances where the answer doesn't take much thought. For example, were I to say I was hungry, the answer to what I am going to do about it likely would be 'I'm going to eat some food. Durrr'.

With serious topics I see no obvious answer. For example, in the case of my earlier blog discussing the continued erosion of our basic rights and freedoms in exchange for the promise of security, what can a person do? There are a wide array of reactions and responses, and I should like to examine some of them in detail.

First and foremost a person can do nothing. This is by far the easiest reaction. There are things that are simply not worth the exertion of thinking about, let alone actually acting on. For example, I find that I am unable to care about Pluto's reclassification from planet to dwarf planet. I know some people who feel as though it is some great travesty of our generation, but I don't understand getting worked up over a hunk of rock 39 AU from Earth, and I therefore put forth no thoughts or actions in that regard.

Another reaction is to devote mental processes to a problem, but avoid any other investment. This of course cannot provide much in the way of real world results, but can do a lot to provide relief (or stress) to the individual. This is tantamount to simply wishing for things to change, and you know what they say, if wishes were horses then there'd be horses all over the goddamn place and SOMEBODY has to clean up after them.

Clearly the only way to actually accomplish anything significant is to take some kind of action. Of course this is where the real crux of the matter lies, what kind of action can a single person take, and will it actually change anything? I think there are plenty of things that a person can do that will actually have a negative impact on the cause. The anti-abortion campaigners I see every semester on CU's campus come to mind. Being an asshole and calling the people whose minds you are trying to change 'murderers' and 'infanticidal maniacs' is not a very good way to sway opinion. Sure, you're campaigning for something you believe in, but all you're accomplishing this way is pissing people off and increasing the probability of your face being punched.

Some people just stand next to a busy street holding a sign. This is more effective than the asshole route, but I think it loses some efficacy due to the limited volume of information that can be relayed by a sign you expect someone to read while they drive by at 30-50 mph. Even if you manage to pique interest in the subject, I know that there is a very low probability that I will remember what it was I saw on the sign by the time I arrive at my destination. Additionally, you're doing something that can be done by a stick, perhaps you should just hang the sign and go do something else with your time?

I think for an individual to actually effect any change requires that person be an exceptional individual. There are enough examples of people throughout history who have been the beacon of change to show that it is entirely possible, but not everyone can be a Bad Horse (I meant Ghandi).

I am personally a very strong believer in the power of the written word. I am not the kind of individual who has the personality, charisma, or drive to make a notable difference, but I also don't feel content quietly accepting things that I see as wrong. So I write about it. I know that I occupy a tiny insignificant portion of the blogosphere inside the vastness of the interwebs, and my readership is not vast. (I imagine it may, in fact, be quite small). But if I can reach even just one person, then perhaps they will relate the information they have gained to other people, and maybe eventually help influence the opinion of someone who IS the kind of person who can effect real change. I know it's a somewhat romanticized notion, but I also know that my life, ideas, and opinions are constantly informed and changed by the things I read from others, so I don't find it utterly unreasonable to think that I might be able to have a (somewhat) similar effect on others.

I am very much interested in knowing how others feel about this subject, feel free to chime in with some comments =)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

You failed, Jedi

He's done it. It has finally happened. George Lucas has destroyed any last remnants of faith that I may have had lingering in him, and in no subtle fashion I might add. Star Wars: The Clone was is, without doubt, the most horrendous piece of 'cinema' I have ever intentionally subjected myself to. Before I get into the specifics of my claim, I will provide a little of my history with Star Wars to help drive home just how betrayed I felt last night.

Among my earliest memories are of watching a poorly recorded version of A New Hope with my dad. I loved it from the beginning. There was something absolutely magical about the Original Trilogy. Star Wars completely changed my life (For better or worse). I own two Star Wars T-shirts, a Star Wars hat, a (bad ass) Jedi Costume, my car had a star wars bumper sticker, Yoda hangs from my rear view mirror, I own and have read well over 50 star wars books, and I have watched the Original Trilogy more times than I can recall. I have never once in my entire life been ashamed to admit my devotion to Star Wars, even after the disappointment that was the prequels (and the special edition, the special special edition, and the future super special deluxe mega 3D editions).

So understand the full weight of my meaning when I say that I am extremely embarrassed that Star Wars: The Clone Wars even exists. There was not one single redeeming quality that can be gleaned from that movie. Ty, Michelle and James can all attest, the evening ended with me curled up in the fetal position in the movie theater. Be warned, ye faint of heart: Spoilers and heartache are to follow.

The movie starts with a gut-wrenching and disgusting rendition of the Star Wars main theme, followed by a Starship Troopers-esque voice over explaining the thin and contrived plot that the rest of the movie will be centered on. (Have you always wondered just how it was during the Clone Wars that the Galactic Republic planned to gain control of vital shipping lanes? STAY TUNED!) And then it went downhill from there. The primary focus of the movie is on Anakin and his new padawan Ahsoka. Anakin is every bit as annoying as he was in the prequels, but he can't even compare to how annoying Ahsoka is. Everything from her nickname for Anakin (Skyguy. Seriously, die.) to her ridiculous 'I act arrogant but I'm really insecure' demeanor, everything is painful to watch. Of course, when they're not center stage, the movie likes to jump to the battle droids, who were apparently programmed to be completely retarded (I'm talking JarJar Binks stupid), which could have been a key factor in the downfall of the separatists. (omg I leaned forward and fell off a cliff. Noooooo)

The movie could have at least salvaged some watchability with exciting action sequences. This should have been easy to deliver on, but apparently not. I found this particularly mind boggling, how is it possible for all six live action star wars movies to have VASTLY more entertaining and energetic lightsaber fights than one that was animated? It's an ANIMATED MOVIE! YOU CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO. I have only scratched the surface of the terrors that were unleashed upon the masses in The Clone Wars, but I can't really talk about them without blood shooting out of my ears.

Of course, I recognize that this movie was intended primarily for children, but that still is no excuse. It is possible to create a movie that is primarily for children that adults will still love (Pixar, anyone?). And if the two kids who looked bored out of their skulls last night were any indication...They failed in that regard as well.

Don't watch this movie unless you actually hate yourself.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Stop Breaking the Law, Asshole!

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

There are some things that I am unable to properly quantify my feelings about. This is one of them. I know it makes me angry, but it also makes me sad, confused, and an entire array of other negative emotions.

You know, I cannot wait until next year. I can think of very few people who could possibly run this country any worse than George W. Bush. If Hitler's Ghost were running against Geedub I'd honestly have to think about it for a bit.

Seriously? I ought to THANK someone for violating the constitution and my own personal rights? I should be GLAD that things like due process are no longer a necessity for the government? I just need to take their word for it, accept their hand waving, and pay no attention to the man behind the curtain? I don't know if there are appropriate ways for me to express my absolute disgust at that notion.

Let us, for a moment, allow ourselves to be deluded into believing that giving up our civil liberties will increase our safety from terrorists. At what point do we draw the line? Is it wrong for the government to be able to enter our homes whenever they want to look for potential terrorist infestations? Maybe not physically enter but just have a nice camera system set up so they can keep good tabs on us, make sure we aren't a threat to national security. That would keep us safe, wouldn't it?

Geh, should a company that has violated law and infringed on the rights of its customers and fellow citizens have to go to the courthouse to defend itself? YES! Why is that even a question?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of OMGWTF!?!?

So I'm sure many of you are aware of a new Indiana Jones movie that has recently been unleashed upon the unwitting masses. I myself have been anticipating this movie very much: I mean, it's not like George Lucas has ever taken a classic trilogy and very nearly ruined it by adding to it...

Despite my reservations, I figured we'd be ok here, I understood that the reason the Star Wars prequels had such horrendous dialog and included scenes that very much should have been cut was because George Lucas is George Lucas and nobody wanted to tell him no. But here, Steven Spielberg is involved, so I imagined he'd be able to keep things under control with a few well timed "NO! BAD GEORGE"'s. WARNING: There be spoilers ahead. Continue to read at your own risk.

Let me begin by saying that had this NOT been an Indiana Jones movie, I very possibly would not be writing a negative review of it. If you are able to distance yourself from the originals, you may not leave the theater feeling like somebody went back in time and punched childhood you right in the face.

Further, if you think Star Wars: Episode 1 is a good movie then you'll probably be happy, this movie had a VERY prequels feel to it. (Not a compliment)

Also, Harrison Ford is still Harrison Ford and he still kicks ass as Indiana Jones, even if he is almost a thousand years old. And I actually thought Shia Leboeuf's character was pretty good. The acting throughout was very acceptable, although the main antagonist was pretty (really) lame.

The most notable problems of this movie can be narrowed down to four specific parts. One involves an atomic bomb, one involves monkeys (and Tarzan style vine swinging), there is an issue with a car and a tree (which is the least offensive of the four) and the other is basically the ENTIRE ENDING.

If the three scenes were removed, and the ending rewritten, then I probably would have liked this movie. That's actually the most painful part, is that there were some parts of the movie that were very much Indiana Jones, and very much awesome, so it hurt even more when it was bad. (There are more rotten moments than the four I listed, they're just the ones that really stick out).

Overall I felt like I was on a roller coaster of agony. I was continually taunted with glimpses of joy and entertainment worthy of the name Dr. Jones, and as soon as I began to forget my earlier sorrows I was plummeted into greater depths of misery. George Lucas needs a new personal assistant to follow him at all times, and Falcon Punch him if he even MENTIONS Star Wars or Indiana Jones.

I am sure that some of you reading this disagree, and actually liked Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Killing my Soul, so feel free to explain how that is possible. (Perhaps you were actually watching Iron Man, and just got confused?)

Donkey Kong sucks. You know something YOU suck.

Nintendo sucks.

Before I explain that statement, I will give a little of my own back story with Nintendo. A lot of people who know me have heard this story, but I give Nintendo credit for me learning how to read. There was a game that came out in August, 1989 called Dragon Warrior. (I was four). It was a very basic console role-playing game, with all of the combat and dialog being completely text-based. When I first started playing my father had to read everything to me, but he eventually told me that he wasn't going to do that anymore and if I wanted to keep playing I'd have to learn to read myself. Very shortly after that I was exceptional at reading.

It was not long until I discovered The Legend of Zelda (even though it came out in 1987). As many can attest, there are few people you will meet who are more in love with the Legend of Zelda games. I have been a staunch supporter of Nintendo since I had the dexterity to hold a controller, and I have held the unwavering belief that no matter how much of the console market Sony or Microsoft had, Nintendo would always be the king.

I guess I was wrong.

Last week was the Electronics Entertainment Expo (E3). Now, E3 is not what it used to be, and all of the big console players had less than amazing presentations, but Nintendo was by FAR the worst. Almost anyone who has been with Nintendo from the beginning would almost certainly fall into their classification of "Hardcore gamer", which they quite clearly don't care about in the least. The biggest announcements from Nintendo this year were:

-Animal Crossing: I can recognize that video games aimed at kids are important, but I'm not sure women will be comfortable storing a wii-mote in their uterus.
-Wii Speak: A microphone!?! Amazing! Where has this technology been all my life?
-Wii sports resort: The only thing more boring than playing Frisbee? Playing Frisbee on the Wii.
-English version of DS Recipe application: W.T.F.
-Guitar Hero: On tour decades: OMG GUITAR HERO?!?! I'll bet it's totally new and different from ALL OF THE OTHER ONES.
-Wii Music: 50 different instruments! who doesn't want to hold a sweaty wii-mote up to their face and pretend to play a trumpet. Please gods let there be a kazoo option.

After their conference, and the out pour of rage and disappointment from the gamers, Shigeru Miyamoto said that Nintendo is not using E3 to speak to the core gamer anymore. Well that's super! Except nobody who isn't a core gamer gives a shit about E3. Most people probably don't even know that it exists. And if you're not going to use E3 to talk to the core, then what venue are you going to use? Oh, you don't have any idea? You couldn't care less about the core gaming audience now that you've found your money elsewhere? That's what I thought.

But no! Cammie Dunaway, executive VP of sales and marketing tells us that Nintendo has NOT forgotten the "Hardcore" gamer crowd! All is well! "The Zelda and Mario teams are hard at work, and even Super Mario Sluggers, which is certainly an expanded audience title, but what core gamer doesn't love Mario and baseball and finding out which combination of characters are going to do what kind of crazy things in the field?".

...

...

FUCK YOU!

Seriously? Have you ever PLAYED a goddamned video game? Of course, my life dream has always been to see which combination of overused Nintendo characters will have the wackiest baseball antics. I'm going to assume Yoshi will eat someone and poop out an egg, and then maybe Mario will hit said egg with a bat (Over the fence?!!?!? A HOME RUN!?!?). Hilarious.

Additionally Nintendo has already stated that there will very probably be a shortage of Wii's in North America this holiday season. Is this a joke? Three years in a row, and they can't get production high enough to meet demand? I call bullshit. Either Nintendo is intentionally keeping supply low in order to create even more hype for their soccer-mom machine, or the company is run by retarded chimps.

Screw you Nintendo. You've broken my heart.

Penny Arcade
VG Cats

Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof

This blog spawned from a book I was reading for a philosophy class.

I don't know if any of you have ever heard of a man named Randy Weaver, I know I hadn't before reading this book. I won't go into extravagant details about him, but the basic idea is that this man was kept under constant surveillance by the government for almost two years, until eventually armed marshals, who had been hiding in the woods around his house in camouflage, shot his son's dog without provocation which prompted return fire from the 14 year old boy, who was then shot in the arm. While he tried to flee back home, he was shot in the back and killed. At this point Weaver's friend began to fire on these unknown, unannounced strangers who had just shot and killed a dog and a 14 year old boy, and he actually killed one of the marshals.

Because of this, the government sent in dozens and dozens of FBI agents and snipers to surround the house. While Randy, his 12 year old daughter, and friend went out to a shack they had stored their sons body in to pay respects, the snipers shot Randy in the arm, and while attempting to run back into the house, the sniper shot his wife Vicki (who was holding their 8month old baby) through the head, killing her instantly, and the shot also went through to his friend, puncturing his lung and delivering a fatal wound.

After Randy finally surrendered, he was arrested and immediately put on trial for the murder of a federal officer. Randy, who had shot nobody. A man whose only crime was that he was maybe a member of the Aryan Nation (not actually a crime), and because of this, he was entrapped by his own government in an attempt to make him a spy on a group he did not even belong to. Simply because his religious and personal beliefs did not reflect those of the majority, his wife, son, and friend were murdered by the very men who are supposed to protect them. The media portrayed him as a skinhead, white supremacist, anti-Semitic cop killer who barely deserved a fair trial. Not only this, but the prosecution in his trial called for the death penalty.

If this does not horrify you, then perhaps I have failed to adequately relate this story, in which case I will suggest you read the book "From Freedom to Slavery" by Gerry Spence.

This book was a grim reminder that I dislike the way things are going. While I am still obviously living in a free country, as I am writing this blog without any real fear of governmental agents abducting me in the middle of the night, I don't necessarily see that as such a ridiculous notion as I once did. When I was younger I remember being told how free I was, to be living in America. Now I can have my phones tapped, my emails read, my regular mail read, my history of books that I have checked out at the library can be searched, and who knows what else. All without my knowledge, and all without reason. Sure, I have nothing to hide, but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't have the right to hide my nothing.

Unfortunately, it seems that not very many people seem to feel like I do, or care that our rights and freedoms are slowly being taken away. Or maybe they don't notice. Maybe everyone is so afraid of terrorists that they cannot be troubled to worry about whether or not they can take their finger nail clippers on the airplane with them.

And why is everyone still so afraid of the terrorists? Do they honestly think that the liberties we're giving up are making us any safer? That because my shoes get X-rayed in an airport there won't be any more violence on airplanes?

In the wake of the tragedy at Virginia Tech it seems painfully obvious that no matter what we do we aren't going to be completely safe, and what we're doing is not helping. But it is making us afraid. Always afraid. Do not think me callous or evil, this is a tragedy what has happened. I grieve for the families and friends of all the victims. But it was only 32 people who died. In 2005 over 43,000 people died in motor vehicle related deaths. Why are we suddenly so afraid of schools or people with guns but show almost no fear of climbing behind the wheel of a car? Less than one eighth of that 43,000 died almost six years ago on September 11th, and we are still afraid of the terrorists. We are still willing to give up our rights to protect ourselves from the terrorists.

We live in a State of Fear, to steal the title of a Michael Crichton book. We are controlled by our fear, we are consumed by it. It keeps us quiet and complacent while the very things that once made us Americans are slowly taken away. There is a uniquely American quote that we all heard in our history classes, but it seems to have faded from memory. Something said long ago by Patrick Henry. "Give me Liberty or give me death".

I will leave you with a quote from the book I mentioned before.

"The enemies of freedom are not the fringes and the radicals and the crazies or those who want to own guns. We are the enemy. Our fear is the enemy - our fear that would allow a couple of lunatic bombers at Oklahoma City to corner two hundred and fifty million of us with fear, in response to which and in exchange for the bald promise of protection, we are petitioned by the government to abdicate our freedom and renounce our sacred rights as free people. [...] Eternal vigilance is still the price of freedom, eternal vigilance, and today, more than ever, courage. For now, as always, it takes courage to remain free."

To Hell With The Myspace

So I've been putting my occasional blog up on the myspace for quite some time now, but
A) myspace is preeeettttty pointless
B) apparently people without myspace accounts can't read my blogs (Not that they'd necessarily want to, but I like to keep people's options open)

Ergo, I have decided to use this blogspot fancy schmancy locale. I might copy and paste some of my more favorite blogs from myspace over to here, just for funsies. Or I might not. WHO KNOWS?!?!?

Just as a warning though, some of them may or may not be completely outdated and irrelevant. I might still post them. Such is life. KTHXBAI.